Content Writer Gifts

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"Hi! I'm a content writer!"

"I write astronaut banter for NASA."

You quit your job writing fake customer reviews online? Back to poverty. I couldn't stomach writing things that I didn't believe. I'd rather sit here and freeload coffee and whistle at babes than do some job that entails compromising my core values. I've spent a lifetime living on the fringes of life because I've refused to play the game. No managing up, no lying, no telling people what they want to hear. No suggesting to a women you might marry her if such a promise could lead to certain pleasu

Content writers.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'