Contemporary Communicator Gifts

"And close it with 'Yours truly, #innovativethinking #strongfocus #greatthirdquarter, Larry.'"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Textin’"

"Did you get my tweet?"

Direct Marketing...

Ruddy bloggers!

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

Spam in Hell.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

Target your message

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Wordplay: Export.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'