Contactless Delivery Fan Pillows

A pizza delivery driver throws a pizza delivery.

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

'It's too nice to be inside watching cable! Now, go outside and play on some.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

Netflix Award Show

Efficiency Expert Greeting

'I'ld like to return my Junk Male.'

'Relax, lady, I'm out of the baby business. Now I work for UPS.

The first ever novel written entirely in emoticons.

Frequently used emojis, spring 2020

"It's a remote huggy bear to help us through social distancing."

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

'Use the delivery entrance.'

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

"Hey Tony, you're a young guy. What sort of emoji goes with, 'Pay what you owe us, you lousy bum, or we're coming over there to break your legs'?"

Trump Tweets

"You know you can't see her."

"After you and Sara got married, have your text messages changed?"

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"