Contactless Delivery Fan Pillows

A pizza delivery driver throws a pizza delivery.

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

Actually, I really admire him. He pushes the envelope!

"The following story is based on a Netflix original series, from a book published by Amazon.com."

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

'It's too nice to be inside watching cable! Now, go outside and play on some.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

Netflix Award Show

"Hello Cleveland! I have to say, never thought I'd have a Netflix special seeing as Gerbils only live about 3 to 4 years!"

'I'ld like to return my Junk Male.'

Why Leave Home?

Tweeted

Efficiency Expert Greeting

'Relax, lady, I'm out of the baby business. Now I work for UPS.

The first ever novel written entirely in emoticons.

"It's a remote huggy bear to help us through social distancing."

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

Frequently used emojis, spring 2020

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

'Use the delivery entrance.'

"Hey Tony, you're a young guy. What sort of emoji goes with, 'Pay what you owe us, you lousy bum, or we're coming over there to break your legs'?"

Trump Tweets

We deliver carry out orders by hummer.

"After you and Sara got married, have your text messages changed?"

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"

"You know you can't see her."