Contact Sport Fan Gifts

'I suppose i did take up judo for more human contact.'

"Tell me about it!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Football Violence

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"At some point we'll sit down and resolve our differences, but for now the plan is to continue exchanging bitchy emails."

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

Winter Olympics

Damaging to the sport's reputation...he's fallen asleep.

'It's rumoured that he's becoming an alcoholic.'

"Anyone here seen Swazee''s head?"

'With a classic British sports car it's the only way you're guaranteed the wind in your hair.'

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

'You really should work on your people skills.'

'Either of you done any kick-boxing before?'

Men on a shoot with a pointer dog

'Hey, who's your friend?'

"My computer beat me at chess..."

"You have to give him back to his team once you're through playing with him!"

Polar Bear on Skis

'He's a great field dog and is much in demand as a motivational speaker.'

'You know the rules Fanshawe ----both bloody feet on the floor'

"Tomorrow I've got to go to the dentist... I'm afraid it will hurt!"

A boxing referee with a black eye

Hybrid Sports: Skeet Golf

It's just not the same since we instituted the concussion protocol.

"I think he's waiting for a verbal cue."

the End Zone