Contact Lens Jugglers Pillows

"I don't know about you, but I'd be willing to pitch in for a new contact lens."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

The Communicator

Overworked

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

Woman holding two phones together.

Contacts vs. Glasses

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

Multitasking.

'I'm sometimes right and I'm sometimes wrong. A positive attitude on your part is to agree with me in both cases.'

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"Gotta go."

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

I think you put it off long enough.

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"If we're learning about multitasking, why does she need our 'undivided attention?'"

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

'Since the schedule reorganizing, we haven't yet figured out what to do with Harris.'