Contact Lens Collector Pillows

"Kevin got contacts."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

An Unexpected Guest.

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"Beanirrito"

"Nuts to you, too."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Scarf puts hat back on.

I love the Shard

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Three kids, full-time job, night classes and coaches a girls basketball team. She's stretched a little thin.'

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

'Try his land line.'

"I know your mother."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

Man with candle in thought bubble, "Ideas before Edison"

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Drinking Hats

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

Antique Selfie

"Perhaps this one, sir."

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'