Consumerism Skeptic Pillows

"Look at that. Bloody virtue signalling!"

Funeral Directors.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Made in China

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"That shirt is so last year."

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Customer Convention

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'The meaning of life is to get a nice sneaker contract.'

'It's about time!'