Consumer Trends Analyzer T-Shirts

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

Men's business romper.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Jumping Wall Street.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

'I'm switching you from long-term growth stocks to short-term bonds.'

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

"I don't know what's happening, but lately I've been feeling afraid of my own clothes"

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

In Trays titled: 'In', 'Out' and 'Back in Again'.

Man is target

"That's our department of microeconomics."

'Go to the bank and see if it's still there'

Announcing the Fad Herald. I am not worthy. Coffee. Black. Straight coffee. Are fancy espresso drinks out? Is that your pronouncement? No pronouncement. My hours have been cut back. I'm here on my own time. Furloughs are in?! You're reading too much into this. Interpretations are out.

Sty Guru

"You really can't look at things in a black and white perspective anymore, Especially as we said that white is the new black."

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'Remember, you're NEVER a stranger in this store because we've got LOADS of shopping data on you!'

"With all the tech handy, there's really no reason to be late, lost or out of style."

"I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest." "Very good, little buddy." "I see you've read chapter 7 of 'Randy "the Rock" Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect'." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." "I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper." "I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed."