Consumer Culture Analyst T-Shirts

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Consumerism junkie.

None of those Products 'Changed My Life'

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

"I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest." "Very good, little buddy." "I see you've read chapter 7 of 'Randy "the Rock" Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect'." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." "I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper." "I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed."

Niche marketing: House of crap - Sale - 50% off.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Made in China

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

Sign Reform

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

"I wonder what this was for."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

'Ms. Grimmett, I sort of liked the old filing system...in the file cabinets.'

"That was classic me."

Too Much Plastic.