Consumer Affairs Pillows

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

'No. No. No. No, I'm happy with my current tariff, thanks.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'That's our mission statement.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

Gullib-Os

CATCHY NAME

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency