Construction Site Comedy Gifts

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Dominoes

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

"Well, they were the low bidders."

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

Super Homeworld

'Where would you like your Banksy, love?'

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."