Construction Site Comedy Gifts

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Dominoes

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

"Well, they were the low bidders."

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Super Homeworld

'Where would you like your Banksy, love?'

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

'I baked it especially for you.'