Construction Conspirator Mugs

Clearly, this pair were planning on getting up to something...

Alternative Medicine

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'The presence of what look like standard torch batteries proves conclusively that the craft was designed by super intelligent beings so that if it was captured it would be mistaken for a hoax.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

Department of Dot Connection

"I've contacted the home planet and they finally gave us clearance to make our move."

"Meet Elvis?? Sorry, but they were right. . . He's alive and well on Earth!"

'Are you sure this photo is of us? It looks like a couple of floating logs to me.'

Model Stealth Bomber.

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

"Nothing yet, sir, but we have found Elvis."

"We have to keep them guessing."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos

'This building inspector is so darn obstinate and bullheaded.'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Billy strip: bed pan.

'I baked it especially for you.'

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

'You must be the tenth doctor who's told me I'm suffering from paranoia. What is this, some kind of conspiracy?'

"After you read the menu, eat it."

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

'Admit it, Crawford, this fish was already dead when you caught it!'

The Government's New Conspiracy Census.

"Hey, knock it off. We need those!"

Government Politicians, Who Never Ever Lie

"I told you he wasn't dead."