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"Lucky you were wearing your hard-hat!"

Builders bum

I hate it when they start without us.

The seemingly wanton destruction of private property corp.

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Stone henge swing.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

Goalie Wall.

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

'Where would you like your Banksy, love?'

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

'This building inspector is so darn obstinate and bullheaded.'

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'

Brick House Builders. Wolf Says: 'I understand you need a general contractor...'