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Elephant's submarine too small - 'The unit on this plan is metre not foot!'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Frosty the Repairman"

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

Goalie Wall.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'

"Lucky you were wearing your hard-hat!"

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

Builders bum

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

'I baked it especially for you.'