Construction Aficionado Gifts

Private Contractor's Target Fee as charity thermometer

'I don't think that blob was an unusual roof design, but a coffee stain.'

An origami crane constructs a house.

Your home remodel team: architect, contractor, couples therapist

Folding Container.

'Any more change orders from you, and you'll get to declare me as a dependent on your income taxes.'

Warning: This sign may constitute a trip hazard

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Tiling a Bathroom for a Crossword Puzzle Editor.'

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'I love being a building inspector.'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Site For New Shopp... - I believe the construction company went bankrupt.

'Do you always dress this formally for a building inspection?'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"It's a quote form the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"

'Put some beef into it, McAuliffe - you're flagging!'

'Looks like a contractor coming in expecting to get a big loan.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I need a green house built ASAP.'

I can't understand why our company stocks are going down constantly....this sidewalk for example - it was finished a long time before the deadline!

'Harrison's really taken to this work.'

Plasterer skimming a wall

'Funny - you finish building one power station, and a few hours later, you feel like building another...'

Safety First

"One other thing, when this baby starts rollin, make sure a Health and Safety guy is way out front waving a red flag!"

'Face it, you're mechanically impaired.'

'What a great lawyer! -- He plea-bargained me into a job with the city!'

"Builder's tea? Due to an unforeseen rise in material costs, that'll be £22.40."

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

Do not lean on door.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'Your blood pressure is in the basement. Your pulse is in the kitchen, and your cholesterol has gone through the roof.'