Constitutional Guardian Pillows

"With Trump in office, we'll learn if the Constitution protects us from autocrats."

US Capitol Building Toppled

Louie Gohmert

"He likes it."

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"It's trickle down."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Beefeater

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

Deer Crossing.

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"Get the story and get it write."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

We'll pass on the entrees...

"On the bright side...at least y'all don't have to wear those dadgum masks."

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

Human rights fish is eaten by a shark.

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Copyright is aways right

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

Safety is about FAMILY!...