Considering Vasectomy Pillows

'Stop being a baby! All my friend's husbands have had their giblets removed.'

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Algorithm 'n' Blues

"I see you've security marked your property."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"