Conservative Humor Lovers Pillows

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"They're comfortable."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

The Berlin Peace Movement

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

"She wishes to range free!"

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

How Amazon was invented

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

I just made up that part. It should really throw people for a loop if they find this place thousands of years from now!