Congressional Humor Enthusiast Pillows

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Trump pardons

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

Totalitarian Humour

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"How is it in Russia?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

"So we have met before..."

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'