Conscious Break-taker Pillows

'Why's your sign blank?' - 'It's my day off'

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Maybe clean out your wallet

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'So who's smoking?'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Out for lunch... GOD

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Someone has had a hard day!

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

"Welcome to Sandy Beach. Everything prohibited."

Rodin's Nailbiter.

"I tried change, it didn't work."

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

Talking about smoking to a therapist who is a smoker.

"It's not a nap if I'm sitting at my desk."