Conscience Counselor Gifts

Nothing. What? Stop looking at me like that. Nothing happened. HOJ. Absolutely nothing! You've sniffed me out. I'll come clean. This should be good.

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Racial Profiling

Environmental Conscience

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Counselling Cash.

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

Baseball Angels

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"I'm sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

The Human Stain.

Neurotic stupidity: 'If you start granting amnesty to people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following their conscience.'

Free Associating.

Self Harm Support.

'We offer counselling for customers with gearbox issues.'

'I get that it was wrong. I don't get why it matters.'

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"I can't believe he gave our organization such a large donation, especially since we are no longer tax deductible."

"Line one, the youth group calling from up the creek without a paddle...line two, Mrs. Kavanaugh calling from down in the dumps...line three, Virgil Larrison calling from death's door..."

Whenever I let my conscience be my guide, I get picked up for vagrancy.

'So you're having visions and hearing voices - I'd say you're either really really mad or really really religious.'

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

Psychiatrist catches patient's depression.

Conscience. An angel and the devil standing on a person's shoulders. With the devil playing dirty, as you'd expect.