Conscience Counselor Gifts

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Environmental Conscience

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Counselling Cash.

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

Baseball Angels

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

"I'm sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

Neurotic stupidity: 'If you start granting amnesty to people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following their conscience.'

Free Associating.

'We offer counselling for customers with gearbox issues.'

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

Self Harm Support.

The Human Stain.

'I get that it was wrong. I don't get why it matters.'

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"I can't believe he gave our organization such a large donation, especially since we are no longer tax deductible."

Psychiatrist catches patient's depression.

'So you're having visions and hearing voices - I'd say you're either really really mad or really really religious.'

"Line one, the youth group calling from up the creek without a paddle...line two, Mrs. Kavanaugh calling from down in the dumps...line three, Virgil Larrison calling from death's door..."

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

Conscience. An angel and the devil standing on a person's shoulders. With the devil playing dirty, as you'd expect.

"We are the ghosts of your single use plastic past . . . "