Conscience Cook Gifts

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

Civilized Salmon

The ecumenical dinner party.

'We never think outside the box at this comapny, Firkman!'

Environmental Conscience

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Check your conscience, Senator?

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

Baseball Angels

Introducing clean conscience products

Our produce has no pesticides. Insecticides. Chemical fertilizer artificial colour, or flavouring.

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'How can you sleep at night?'

Think - But not too much.

'I get that it was wrong. I don't get why it matters.'

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"I've got a good head for business; I just don't have the stomach for it."

Whenever I let my conscience be my guide, I get picked up for vagrancy.

What would Jesus Do

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

"I freeze all my leftovers until I feel less guilty about throwing them away."

"Ever feel a teensy bit guilty when they're a vegan?"

'I wonder, whatever happened to all those animals on Old McDonald's farm?'

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

"How much should we f**k with her tonight?"

I'm slowly becominging a vegan. I eat nothing you'd find in a petting zoo.

"Do you ever worry that all the people we've hurt will get wise to us one day?"

"Of course it's local food. I took it from our fridge."

Al's Diner: Be careful what you ask for!