Conquest Seeker T-Shirts

'We already have quite a few people who know how to divide, so essentially we're now looking for people who know how to conquer.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Cling-On Dog

Homo Gamus

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Gamers

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

'Bring me some more power.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

First past the post.

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

'I win!'

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

Glass Ceiling

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

Robot about to eat a battery

"Sure, you could make a good living in private industry, but believe me, you wouldn't be running any kingdoms."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

"It's summer and kids need an outlet...an electrical outlet!"

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

Control in the workplace.

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

Best Pals