Connoisseur Of Humor Gifts

'When I became known as 'The Accounting Wizard', the hat became inevitable.'

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

A beggar being a chooser

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'He likes to power nap.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The Snarky District

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'