Connoisseur Of Connoisseurs Mugs

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Sculptor's chippings

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

Bleak House

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Charles Dickens.

Barbed Pen

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

C Day Lewis.

"He's a mental-health critic."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"It's too academic."

Film Critic

Wonder Woman: "Trapped in a Man's World"

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'... And that's all from this bulletin. But I'll be back with more bad news at six.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Comment on food.

Crazy Ideas

Algernon Swinburne

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark