Connoisseur Of Choices Mugs

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Man reading the title of an all white painting at an art gallery.

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"What kind of take-out are you in the mood for: overpriced or overrated?"

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"Sorry we're taking so long, but it's the first time he's ever seen a menu that didn't offer a happy meal."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."