Congregation Engager Pillows

'Man, I'm bombing,'

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

An informed voter is a good voter

Unanimous voting.

Arizona In Black

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Midwest Winter Items.

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'

Impotent Democracy

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

Follow God On Twitter

Corrupt politicians,

Voter impatience.

Policing the Police

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

'I stopped paying attention to polls since a poll showed voters prefer someone who ignores the polls.'

Throwing out baby with the bath water.

NO CRT

'They gave me ten years in the private sector!'

Election Meddling