Confusion Connoisseurs Pillows

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

"Just junk mail."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"Are you talking to me?"

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

Joke traffic signs.

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

Kanye West

The pilgrimage begins

"I'm just saying, isn't it a bit early to be 'the present moment'?"

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

Exit next left. No, my left.

Gauntlet Cards, Respond at Your Own Risk

"What do cats want?"

"Hi, Honey, I think I'm home."