Conflict Hater Gifts

'I really hate conflict.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

Invade/Fail/Deny

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

Militant Pacifists

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Make love not war

Ukraine Crisis

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

Confucius say: shut up.

'Peace' in our time.

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Kim Jong Il is angry!

'Oh you mean that silly little email.'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

"I need to update my cloak of invincibility."

"This could get nasty..."

Maybe We'll Invade Another Oil-Rich Politically Dysfunctional Sort of Socialist Country. What Could Go Wrong?

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

"This is the worst parade ever."

Modern Warfare

"It's blank because we haven't found a new war yet."

"Here comes the ambassador now!"

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

The army tank with the olive branch at the end