Confirmation Bias Fans Pillows

"I want a story that won't challenge my worldview ."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Angry Bulls about to try out their version of Butchering on an unsuspecting Butcher

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

Center for anti-discrimination.

"Say, 'when'...Hello?...Guys?..."

"Weather rebuttal."

"Say, buddy, how about a 30 day trial membership before I actually commit?"

"My mistake. It turns out Elvis was on Pluto the whole time."

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

"Relax! It's October 31st. What could be a better day to escape?"

Falcon Reads Book On How To Train Falconer

'I don't know what you're complaining about. I should charge you for breathing my second hand smoke. This happens to be a very expensive Cuban cigar!'

Harry Fent, Human Being. Disclaimer...

UFO Sighted In Cartoon!

"Well, let's give it a shot. . . I hear it's a sanctuary city."

'You've been appointed to an independent watchdog committee.'

BILL & YADDA-YADDA GATES foundation

"Bob believes that most of his deeply held opinions are the result of 'extensive research," but I sort of suspect they're just the result of prompts suggested by the Youtube algorithm."

"This sis my favourite place. It reminds me of me."

"Will you marry me for a few years?"

"So Father, from your sharp intake of breath, I take it that I have your full attention?"

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green on Masks

"People worry that there aren't any journalists to cover local issues anymore. But I reckon that's just another example of fake news."

Bar Association. What a disappointment. It has nothing to do with either beer of candy.

"Hi, I'm Mike and my 20 year old marriage to Debby has been a sham, I'm currently having an affair with David who works behind the bar."

"I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time."