Confidentiality Buff Mugs

'I really can't talk about my childhood. Before I left home, they made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

Backfire

High security Santa's grotto

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Is there a vegan option?"

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Cat Hecklers

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Beware of the frog"

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Miami Mice