Confidentiality Gifts

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Privacy Conference Security

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'More government surveillance!'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

She required plenty of personal space.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

CCTV in church.