Confident Baldy Gifts

"Maybe I should just comb it back and get really good at sex."

Bad hair day!

Leadership suits you

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Intellectual Property

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"A shave and a shine."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you because that's how I deal with my insecurities."

If you've got it flaunt it!

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

The shape of things to come

Baldness Facts

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

The great and near-great

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"If only legginess were based on circumference."