Confident Baldy Gifts

"Maybe I should just comb it back and get really good at sex."

Bad hair day!

Leadership suits you

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Intellectual Property

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"A shave and a shine."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Interviews.

"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you because that's how I deal with my insecurities."

The shape of things to come

If you've got it flaunt it!

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Baldness Facts

"Boo hoo, I missed my targets - what's the worst he can do?"

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'

The great and near-great

"I'm having a bad forehead day."