Confession Quipster Pillows

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Is the water cold?'

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

Official Seal

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

The Quantum Mechanic...

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"Schrödinger's other cat"

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Confession Ratings.

Physicists' Convention: Quantum Leap.

'I'm confused. Is this a romance novel or a confession about how much you like boxes and warm places to nap?'

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

Clergyman and Working Girl

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

'Forgive me Father for I have skinned.'

"Forgive me, Father ... I forgot to take my Beano."

Sun Tzu takes on Heisenberg

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'