Confession Critic Pillows

'Could I stop you there and ask you just to confess your own sins?'

Priest's 'To do' list.

True confessions.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

Preachers with far too much input

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Confession Ratings.

True confession

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

'Stick on Souls'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'I fancy you like mad, Miss Prentice.'