Conferencing Pillows

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'I'll be away for a few days, sir - I'm attending a conference of conference organizers.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

Inclusive speech

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

The interested bystanders.

"Who called this meeting again?"

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Mark Zuckerberg

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"