Conference Organizers Pillows

'Are 3-D, high definition webinars really necessary?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Face painting by numbers.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Extra Long-jump

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'