Conference Organizing Pillows

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar, but the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and the speaker hoped to use died in 1967...'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Communication Breakdowns