Conference Goers Club T-Shirts

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Hold on, that's my Mom dressed up like 'Xena, Princess Warrior'....real mature, Mom!"

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"Psychiatric convention"

Star Wars convention...

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"The annual conference was running smoothly until Rusty, from a rival company, sneaked in and threw a stick."

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled