Conference Call Warrior Pillows

'Can't you see we're having a conference call?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Camera not working."

"I have a question: does intersectionality take into account that frequent power outages in my country may not allow me to sit through this webinar?"

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

Call Center.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

Working from Home

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"I miss expense accounts."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

"Must be another conference-call party."

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

'Stop phoning me at work. I don't care if you have got a technical problem!'

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'