Cone-wearer Sympathizer Pillows

'I can really empathise with the basketball hoop.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

"Won't your boss miss you?"

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"If any of you guys out there have lost your jobs, need some help and are struggling to cope, call me. I can't do anything, but it makes me feel better about my own shitty life."

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

"Stop doggin' it!"

'Now relax and imagine your body slowly melting into the ground.'

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"He gets like this every summer."

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

'I don't care what you say.. it's too cold to stand out there.'

Melting snowman: 'I hate this time of year!'

"Tabarnak!"

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

News. We're supposed to eat from the food circle. It's replacing the food pyramid. It's a lot more fun to eat from the food cone!

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

He's a rebel without a cause.

"You're a disaster Jones, you've only been here a week and you're already a month behind with work."

Melting snowman is begging for ice cubes.