Concert Organizer Gifts

Concerts back in the good old days...

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

'I said you've got too many letters in his name.'

Occupational Hazards.

Frampton Comes iLive

"Worst opening act ever. Did you know what a vuvuzela is?" "What?"

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

'Man, times have changed.'

Man winding down a scroll of a musical score.

1985/2005.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

"He's miming."

Covid and Concerts

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Allegro con molto espresso

Rainbow Quartet

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'