Concert Commentator T-Shirts

Focus Groupies

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Voice of the GOP

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?