Computer Hacking Gifts

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Gadget geek.

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

Computer Crimes

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

Computer hacker sends a rocket to Mars.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and added a few gifts. It pays to have computer skills."

"Never marry an engineer."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'Great news! We're not outsourcing your job, just your pay.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

'Gimme all your cache!'

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Proof of Being Human

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"Boy, has it been hacked!"