Computer Crisis Navigator Pillows

"Tech support say I should switch it off, leave the building and never come back!"

Wall Street Couch

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Economic Downturns

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

2nd bailout for Greece by EU.

Try not to worry.

The Covid Tail

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

Ruble in Trouble

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Capitalism.

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

Coronavirus and Atlas

"No internet connection"

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

We need bold action to raise morale, yet not make people think there's a problem.

Covid-19 vaccine - locally-sourced $50 /shot

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

"J.P. will be joining you by speakerphone."

'Still no bailout for us, sir, but don't give up hope!'