Computer Crime Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Oh, how sweet! You're illegally downloading our song!'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Essex computer.

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

"Don't worry Mac, I'll have that happy face back in no time."

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

WANTED The Strad Cad

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

"It's a puzzling case, Watson. For all I know, the culprit could be staring me right in the face."

You know retail is in a bad way when...