Compulsive Collector Gifts

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Mixed Doubles.

Early cyborg.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Ice shelfie.

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

Inflating Boobs.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'