Completing Management Training Pillows

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Gross."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"You've all been working very hard lately, and you deserve some time off. I'm giving you all a two-day membership to time-off.com."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

'So, how was flight school?'

Communication Breakdowns

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

"Well I hope that gives you a flavour of what the work is about...any questions?"

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

'Let's see now...'

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."

'I want to thank you for sending me to those Excellency training classes.'

Builder's School

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

"When the report said that coaches should have some psychological training I think they meant more than having watched all 11 series of Frasier."