Complementary Therapy Explorer Pillows

"Have you tried St. John's Wort?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Hot Pie Therapy

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"You want proof? There's your proof."

Chemistry Improv Theater

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'