Complaints Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Visiting the complaints department.

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

In, Out, Complain.

"My kid could do that."

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Sculptor's chippings

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Moanathon.

The First Asshole

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'